You can't motorboat a personality
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize