Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
