And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
