I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
