she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
