no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
