The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
