i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize