I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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