:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
