Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
