I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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