eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
