Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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