Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
