so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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