so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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