dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
