If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
