Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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