there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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