you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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