And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
