Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He felt like a one man threesome
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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