I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think my moral compass just broke
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