The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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