Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
