I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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