I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
