theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
