I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Randomize
