we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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