I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
dude. I can hear the air.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
