16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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