Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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