Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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