One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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