Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
