I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
