Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
