I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize