He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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