Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
