So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
