why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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