Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
