The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
