Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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