Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
