I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
