I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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