just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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