I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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