At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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