and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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