You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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