It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
