Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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