If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
