Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
