Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize