The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
