I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize