I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
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But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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