is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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