You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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