it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
