I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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